Never Again!

Never again will I try to duplicate what I’ve seen on YouTube. The woman putting the flowers in the wreath frame made it look easy. It’s not. Especially when you don’t have the proper tools, like wire cutters, two pairs of heavy-duty pliers, and a lot of patience. I had a small pair of pliers, cheap scissors, more long-stemmed flowers than I needed, and, now, two sore thumbs.

So why am I torturing myself like this? Well, it has to do with a soon-to-be four-year-old who calls me Grandma. We’re not related in any way except by friendship but I’ve been called Grandma to distinguish me from Nana, who is my best friend. Nana does a lot of different crafts (quite well, I might add) and watches a lot of YouTube videos on how to do things. Nana also has a lot of patience for everyone but the soon-to-be four-year-old. Said young person is full of questions, always wanting to help and has a tongue hinged at both ends. When one end gets tired of talking, the other one takes over. I have patience with her because I don’t have to live with the constant chatter. 😉

Oh, Nana’s not mean, or anything. She doesn’t beat the child or tell her to shut up or anything. She just sighs and texts me “Your darling is here”. That’s my cue to come over to rescue Nana from her granddaughter. Nana was trying to watch someone make a wreath on tv when I got there. Darling was chattering up a storm and didn’t stop at all when I walked in. She just transferred her attention to me. We got to talking (or rather she talked and I listened) and she thought that what the lady on tv was doing was pretty. I asked Darling if she liked flowers, getting an affirmative answer. And that’s when my big mouth got me into today’s trouble.

I told Darling that I’d get her flowers for her birthday next month. Now, I know that real flowers and a four-year-old don’t go together. I went out, bought a wreath frame and some flowers. The fun began when I sat down tonight to put the flowers around the frame. For starters, those wires are bloody thick, too thick to cut with the scissors I had. Being the good former airframe technician that I am, I bent the wire back and forth to make it snap from metal fatigue. It snapped all right, but the plastic holding it together didn’t. That, I had to cut. I don’t think my scissors will ever be the same.

Now for wrapping the wires around the frame. Easier said than done. My thumbs were already sore from cutting down the flowers to manageable lengths. I’m not sure how I managed it, but I managed not to impale my thumbs or fingers on the wires and more or less got the flowers to stay on the wreath frame. I’ve come to the conclusion that I will never make a living doing floral arrangements. It’s put together and more or less stays in place (I’m going to tackle it with a glue gun tomorrow) and doesn’t look too bad. I just need one more item to hide the main stems beneath the flowers at the bottom of the frame. I’m thinking a stuffed animal. I can glue that to the stems and not have to worry about it coming loose. I hope.

In the meantime, I’m going to soak my thumbs in Epsom salts and reflect on my folly of making promises to almost-four-year-olds.

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